


Late Night Shopping

by Arendellecitizen



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Humor, Mild threat and language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-18
Updated: 2017-10-18
Packaged: 2019-01-19 03:12:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12401892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arendellecitizen/pseuds/Arendellecitizen
Summary: Harley and Ivy go out shopping one night and hijinks ensue. (Harley x Ivy, Fluff)





	Late Night Shopping

It was a moonlit evening in Gotham City, quiet and peaceful, well as peaceful as one could get in a city known for being regularly attacked by clowns, giant mounds of clay, mobsters who look like penguins and giant brutes on steroids.

In a small car driving through the streets, Harley Quinn and her girlfriend, Poison Ivy, were heading towards a supermarket, the only one near their hideout that would be open this late.

"I can't see why we have to go to the store to buy this fertilizer for your plants, Red," Harley told her. "I mean, you can control plants, why not make it yourself?"

"I control plants with my powers, Harley, not grow them," Ivy told her. "Besides, this fertilizer will make my babies grow bigger and stronger than ever."

"You sure you don't want to let them grow naturally?"

"I do, but this is organic fertilizer, not some toxic man made crap," Ivy explained. "My babies hate that."

Harley looked out the window. "Hey, we're here."

As the two stopped outside of the store, Ivy looked out the window. "Looks like this place really is open 24/7."

Harley checked her pockets. "Ah damn, I don't have my wallet on me."

Ivy rolled her eyes. "Then we'll just have to do things the old fashioned way."

The two got out of the car and walked into the store, the assistant at the counter noticing them. "Oh good evening, ladies." she greeted them in a rather relaxed, polite voice. "May I help you?"

"Yes, you may," Ivy said, looking at her seductively. She then kissed the assistant with her dark green lips and she fell into a deep slumber.

"Woah!" Harley exclaimed. "You didn't kill her did ya, Red?" She asked nervously.

"It was only a sedative, Harley dear," Ivy replied. "I don't kill innocent people, just the ones who harm my plants."

"Oh right, forgot," Harley giggled.

The two headed into the aisle, browsing the plant fertiliser section, trying to hunt down Ivy's particular brand.

"So much plant stuff," Harley commented. "How come they don't actually sell plants here?"

Ivy rolled her eyes at her girlfriend's statement. "It's a supermarket, not a garden centre."

"Well, why didn't we just go to one of those places?" Harley wondered.

"This place is closer," Ivy told her. "Besides, we both know you want to get back to playing video games and watching cartoons."

"You know me so well, Red," Harley remarked.

"I certainly do."

Harley looked up at the fertilizer bags. "Hmmm, what brand is yours, Happy Daisy?"

"No."

"Bat-grow?"

"No," Ivy scoffed. "Why does he like to put his name on stuff?!"

"Probably didn't but some PR guy thought it was cool."

Ivy sighed. "Then our caped friend doesn't have that big of an ego."

"Okay, what about Mega-greens?"

"Really corporate, that's definitely not what I'm looking for."

"How about Green-greens?"

"Isn't that a level from a game you played?"

Harley thought for a moment. "Yeah, Kirby. Ohh! I think I found it, Orga-fuel."

Ivy looked at the fertilizer bag and nodded. "Yeah, that's the one."

"The name's a bit confusing. It sounds like it's gas for your car or something people have in those weird clubs Mr J kept bragging about."

"Don't worry, baby, it's none of those," Ivy said, taking the bag. "Come on, let's get out of here." As the two made their way towards the front door, Ivy noticed something. There appeared to be someone else behind the desk, a young man wearing a black hoodie. "I thought I took out the clerk."

"Don't worry, Red, I'll handle him," Harley said.

Harley then walked over to the man, clearing her throat. "Excuse me, do you work here?"

The man looked at her. "Ummm… yeah, I just started."

"Really?" Harley wondered. "I mean, you're not exactly wearing a uniform."

"It's uhh… a new policy. Workers bring their own uniforms."

Harley looked down, seeing the cash register open. "Are you a cashier by any chance?"

"Yeah why?"

"Because the register is open and it looks like all the money is gone."

The man then took out a gun. "Sorry, Cosplay, I think you looked too far into this."

"You're a thief!" Ivy shouted.

The man leaped out from behind the counter, grabbing Ivy and pointing a gun to her head. "Alright, you're gonna let me walk free, and this bitch doesn't get a bullet in her head."

"Just let me go, Harl!" Ivy begged.

"No way, your babies need that plant stuff," Harley said to her girlfriend. "So get down, Red!" She pulled out her huge mallet and charged at the crook.

"What the fu- Ughhh!" The crook grunted as harley struck him on the head. He loosened his grip on Ivy and fell to the floor.

"Don't worry, he ain't dead," Harley said. "Just because I can be mean, doesn't mean I'm not a good person."

Ivy chuckled. "I used to find it weird you carried a giant hammer with you. Now, I'm simply just thankful."

Harley took the cash money out of the man's pockets. "Hey, Red, we've got some money left over here. Wanna just leave it on the counter and we'll pay for your plant food with it?"

Ivy smiled. "I suppose that's a fair and legal way to do things."

Harley did just that and the two got into their car, Harley starting the engine. "That was certainly an eventful evening."

Ivy looked at her girlfriend and held her hand. "Thank you, Harley. I really was worried there."

"Hey, I just wanted to make sure my girl was okay," Harley stated. "If it meant giving a guy severe brain damage to do so, so be it."

Ivy gave her a kiss on the cheek. "I love you, Harl."

"Love ya too, Red, now come on, let's go feed your babies."

xXx

 

**Author's note:** Did somebody order some Harley x Ivy?

After my last fic of these two, I got a few reviews asking me to continue it. While I dedcided to leave that fic as it was, I hope this little cute ficlet appeases you all :3

See ya next time! ^^


End file.
